It
Started
I guess my story,
has to begin with birth, yes that far back
I would say.
I was born to a very young, very inexperienced
alcoholic and drug
addicted mother and father. My mother
came from an abusive
family as did my father, both of them
had been abused
while growing up in one form of abuse or
another.
My mother already
had a son when she met my father my aunt,
whom you will learn
more about later introduced them and my
parents were immensly
attracted to one another, I wonder why?
Yes, both my parents
were and still are very nice looking people
but I think the
old saying, "the sick attract the sick" held true
upon them meeting.
Neither wanted a child nor did they need a
child at that point
in thier lives, they continued to use and abuse
alcohol and drugs
through out the pregnancy, they fought
constantly (no i
dont remember it lol) but I have heard all about
it. When my
mother was about 8 months along, her and my
father got into
an arguement and it turned physical, she hit him
or something like
that and my father in turn hit her right back
the fight escelated
rapidly from there and my father kicked my
mother in the stomach
and she went into labor. I was born a few
hours later at 11:50
p.m. I was born addicted to alcohol and to
numerous other drugs
and to me that was the first abuse that I
suffered.
I apparently got collic when I was a few months
old and they couldn't
get me to shut up, so my mother decided to
put whiskey in my
bottle and blow pot smoke in my face to get
me to go to sleep.
My mother and father seperated upon numerous
occasions but they
managed to have 3 more children after me and
of course my older
brother whom I have already mentioned
On one of the occasions
that my parents were split-up my mom
started dating another
man, we lived with my grandmother my
mothers mom in a
cramped 3 bedroom house with all 5 of us kids
2 of my cousins,
my grandmother, mom, her boyfriend, & my aunt &
a uncle. One
night my mother and her friend were in the living room
messing around on
the couch, I guess I was about 2 1/2 and I came
into the licing
room to tell her something and of course at that age
I didn't know what
was going on there (not yet anyways). I remember
my mother picking
me up yelling at me, it scared me so I started
crying for my daddy,
well that seemed to infuriate her even more, so
she took me down
the hallway and locked me into a closet that was
no bigger than a
porta-potty if that big. I was terrified, I heard
my mother and her
friend in there laughing at my terror and my screams.
Finally, I quit
crying only to hear them having sex, my screams & cries
didn't even "ruin
the mood." I learned then to stay away from her when
she was with a boyfriend
so I rarely saw her. Although today I can
be around my grandmother,
(although not often or for long) at one
point in time I
wouldn't be around her much either. I can't even
begin to count all
the times, my and my older brother and baby brother
who is 1 yr younger
than I, would get into the neighbors trash cans
to get something
to eat, as grandma would keep the food locked up in
the house so that
we kids wouldn't eat grandpas food. Sick sick
people lived in
that house, sleeping was great cause then I could
escape from the
nightmare that to me was my life. I must have
thought it can't
get any worse than this, I don't remember if I did
or not, but I must
have thought that even at such a young age.
I could not of ever
imagined that my life was going to get drasticaly
worse very soon
and with that new terror on the horizon my life
would be even more
scarred than it already was.
I will end this
page here, as I must take a break from my
writing to meditate
and pray for the courage to write on. This
isn't an easy thing
to do by no means the scariest thing I have
ever done in my
entire life though everything I have seen, done and
been through the
one that terrified me the most was looking within
myself. Please read
on or come back and read the rest of Narisahs
story.
