"Sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty." ~~*When She Was Bad.

"Which means we're still the undead's favorite party town." ~~*When She Was Bad.

"Oh, 8 minutes and 33 seconds, pay up. I called 10 minutes before you'd consult your books about something. Thank you." ~~*When She Was Bad.

"Oh, come on, you can tell us. We're your bosom friends. The friends of your bosom." ~~*When She Was Bad.

"If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you." ~~*When She Was Bad.

"Well, we could go grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but gosh, we did that last night." ~~*When She Was Bad.

"Call me an optimist, but I'm hoping to find a fortune in gold doubloons." ~~*Some Assembly Required.

"You have to go? Awww, to bad. Keep in touch. Buh bye!" ~~*Some Assembly Required.

"For the love of God, can somebody scratch my nose?" ~~*Some Assembly Required.

"All right, but if you come across the army of Zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?" ~~*Some Assembly Required.

"And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune." ~~*School Hard.

"Okay, that's it. I'm putting a collar with a little bell on that guy." ~~*School Hard.

"Typical museum trick: Promise human sacrifice, deliver old pots and pans." ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.

"No, I think it ends with 'And she became a scary, discolored, shriveled mummy'." ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.

"Oooh, Sunnydale Bus Depot. Classy. What a better way to introduce someone to our country than with a stench of urine." ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.

"Oh yeah, fall for the old let-me-translate-that-ancient-seal-for you-come-on. Do you know how many times I've used that?" ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.

"So, do we have to speak Spanish when we see him? 'Cause I don't know anything much besides 'Doritos' and 'Chihuahua'." ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.

"Aye Carumba. I can also say that." ~~*Inca Mummy Girl.

"Okay. So tonight, channel fifty-nine. Indian T.V.---sex, lies, incomprehensible story lines. I'll bring the betel nuts." ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail." ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Okay, boots, start a-walkin'." ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Cordelia's much better for you than Angel." ~~* Reptile Boy.

"That bastard!" ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Frying pan, fire. You know what I'm saying?" ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Whoa! Rewind! Since when did they have orgies and why aren't I on the mailing list?" ~~*Reptile Boy.

"So, Cor, are you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation or just going with the halter top tonight?" ~~*Reptile Boy.

Cordelia: "Well, not that it's any of your business, but I happen to be dating a Delta Zeta Kappa."
Xander: "Oh, an extraterrestrial, so that's how you get a date after you've exhausted all the human guys." ~~*Reptile Boy.

"Too bulky, I prefer my women in spandex." ~~*Halloween.

"Buffy! Land of Buffdom. Dutchess of Buffonia. I am in awe. I completely renounce spandex." ~~*Halloween.

"Hey, Will! That's. . .a. . .fine boo you got there." ~~*Halloween.

Xander: "Halloween quiet? Wow, I figured it would be a big old vamp-scare-a-pallooza."
Buffy:"Not according to Giles. He swears that tomorrow night is like dead for the undead. They stay in."
Xander:"Those wacky vampires, that's why I love 'em. They just keep ya guessing!" ~~*Halloween.

"I'm gonna do what any man would do about it. Something damn manly." ~~*Halloween.

"Okay, on sleazing extra candy, tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double bagger. You can also try the old 'You missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood? Okay, troops, let's move out." ~~*Halloween.

"Hey, it's me. If Angel's doing something wrong, I wanna know. . .'Cause it makes me happy." ~~*Lie To Me.

"Okay, once more with tension." ~~*Lie To Me.

"Sure thing Bossy the Cow." ~~*Lie To Me.

"Oh, we usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones." ~~*Lie To Me.

Xander: "Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one."
Angel: "Could you not call me that." ~~*Lie To Me.

"You know, computers are on the way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback." ~~*The Dark Age.

"Okay, 'Giles' and 'orgies' in the same sentence. I coulda lived without that one." ~~*The Dark Age.

Cordelia: "I've got the solution right here. 'To kill a demon. . .cut off his head."
Xander: "Oh yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, we'll find Ms. Calendar, then we'll decapititate her. Hey, she'll be the first head-less, computer teacher in school, you think anybody'll notice?"
Cordelia: "Do you know what you need, Xander, besides a year's supply of acne cream? A brain."
Xander: "That's it! Twelve years of you and I'm snappin'! I don't care if your a girl or not, I'm throwin' down! Come on!"
Cordelia: "I've seen you fight, and don't think I can't take you!"
Xander: "Give it your best shot!" ~~*The Dark Age.

"You know with that kind of attitude, you could've had a bright future as an employee at the D.M.V." ~~*What's My Line Part One.

"As in polyester, donuts, and brutality." ~~*What's My Line Part One.

Xander: "When you look at me, do you think 'Prison guard'?"
Buffy: "Ummm, 'Crossing guard' maybe but not 'Prison guard'." ~~*What's My Line Part One.

"But Ho-ho's are a vital part of my cognitive process." ~~*What's My Line Part One.

"Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are, she'll find us." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"A Slayer, huh? I knew this 'I'm the only one. I'm the chosen one' thing was just an attention-getter." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"Mmmman, that guy got major neck in his day!" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"Angel's our friend. . .except, I don't like him." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"Oh, here we go, I am the Bug Man Ca-Coo- Ca--Choo." ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"Dorkhead? You slash me with your words!" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"Hey, Larvae Boy! Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you, you big cootie!" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"Right, I hired a Latvian Bug Man to kill Buffy so I could kiss you. I hate to burst your bubble, but you don't inspire me to spring for dinner over at 'Bucky's Fondue Hut'!" ~~*What's My Line Part Two.

"Yeah, with Spike and Drucilla out of the way, we've really been riding the mellow. . .and I am really jinxing the hell out of us, by saying that." ~~*Ted.

"How is Angel? Pretend I care." ~~*Ted.

"Oh, that's a sound she makes when she's speechless with geeker joy." ~~*Ted.

"Hey, we can do that thing any time. I'm tired of doing that thing, we're on!" ~~*Ted.

"Ah, the dreaded five par cuckoo clock. Ha! So many have come, so few have conquered." ~~*Ted.

"Hey! Ha-ha-ha, I know we just met, but isn't that Xander Jr. you're holding?" ~~*Bad Eggs.

Xander: "Apparently, Buffy has decided the problem with the English Language is all those big, pesky words. You. Angel. Big. Smoochie?"
Buffy: "Shut. Up." ~~*Bad Eggs.

"You know, the only thing that stresses me is when do we tell them they're adopted?" ~~*Bad Eggs.

"Mmm. Cardboardy! Sorry, Junior, but a man's gotta eat." ~~*Bad Eggs.

"Oh no, I almost ate one of these things. I think I fullfilled my gross-out quota for the decade." ~~*Bad Eggs.

Xander: "Last time Cordy dragged me in here, it was a lot nicer."
Buffy: "What?!"
Xander: "Uh, uh. . .nothing. Uh, crazy talk. Head Trauma." ~~*Bad Eggs.

"That's my bump!" ~~*Bad Eggs.

"You could have just said 'Shhhh.' God, are all you Brits such Drama Queens?" ~~*Surprise.

"Gone! Notice the economy of phrasing. 'Gone': Simple, direct." ~~*Surprise.

"Looks like Mr. Caution Man, but the sound he makes is funny." ~~*Surprise.

Giles: "His touch can literally burn the humanity out of you. A true creature of evil can survive the process. No human ever has."
Xander: "What's the problem? We send Cordy to fight this guy, and we go for pizza." ~~*Surprise.

"Well, nobody's asking you to go, Cordelia. If the vampires need grooming tips, we'll give you a call." ~~*Innocence.

"No, it's a statistical impossibility for a sixteen year old girl to unplug her phone." ~~*Innocence.

"Whoa, whoa! I think I'm having a thought. Yeah, yeah, that's a thought. Now I'm having a plan." ~~*Innocence.

"I'm seventeen, looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex." ~~*Innocence

"I do not babble. I occassionally run-on. Every now and then, I yammer." ~~*Phases.

"You're not boned, you're Buffy. Eradicator of evil. Defender of. . .things that need defending." ~~*Phases.

"Okay, now it's time for me to act like a man. . .and hide!" ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"Okay, big yuks. When are you guys gonna stop making fun of me for dating Cordelia?" ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"We're not fighting as much, and yesterday, we just sat together, not even speaking. You know, just, ummmm, enjoying comfortable silence. Man, that was dull." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"My Valentines' are usually met with heart felt restraining orders." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct, stake to the heart. No muss, no fuss." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

Buffy: "Sorry to say, Xand, but slaying is a tad more perilous than dating."
Xander: "Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"This time, I'm ready for you. No 'F' for Xander today. This baby's my ticket to a sweet 'D' minus." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"I let Buffy dress me. Well, not physically." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"Do you know what's a good day to break up with somebody? Any day besides Valentines Day! I mean, what, were you running low on dramatic irony?" ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"I want some respect around here. I want, for once, to come out ahead. I want the Hellmouth to be working for me." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"Yeah, but Will, we were both in footy pajamas." ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"I made a mess, Giles. See, I found out that Amy's into witchcraft, and I was hurt I guess, so I made her put the love whammy on Cordy, but it backfired. And now every woman in Sunnydale wants to make me her cuddle monkey. Which may sound swell on paper, but---" ~~*Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

"A visit from the pointed, tooth fairy." ~~*Passion.

"You know, I think there may be a valuable lesson for you gals here about inviting strange men into your bedrooms." ~~*Passion.

Cordelia: "Oh God! I invited him in my car once. That means he can come into my car. . .whenever he wants."
Xander: "Yep, you're doomed to havin' to give him and his Vamp pals a lift wherever they feel like it, and those guys never chip in for gas." ~~*Passion.

"The 'na-na-na-na-na' approach to battle." ~~*Passion.

"Yeah, the more people who know the secret, the more it cheapens it for the rest of us." ~~*Passion.

"Watcher's Pet!" ~~*Passion.

"Man, Buffy! My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta get me a life!" ~~*Killed By Death.

"Buffy, this is not the time to challenge Angel for the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He's at full strength. You're only half a Slayer." ~~*Killed By Death.

"Take a walk, overbite!" ~~*Killed By Death.

"You're gonna die. And I'm gonna be there." ~~*Killed By Death.

"The flu doesn't exactly sound monsterrific." ~~*Killed By Death.

"Yeah, stick them in water. Maybe they'll grow." ~~*Killed By Death.

"Increased ooginess. That's a danger signal!" ~~*Killed By Death.

"Yeah, but if I see a floating pipe and a smoking jacket, he's dropped." ~~*Killed By Death.

"Your Mom's trying to bogart the cheesy chips. What's that all about?" ~~*Killed By Death.

"You're just a big bucket of funny, Will. I'll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, ummmm, locker monster." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"This is no wimpy chain rattler. This was 'I'm dead as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore'." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"Fill me in then. 'Cuz I've read the book, seen the movie, and I'm still fuzzy about what's going on." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"Your dreams are getting wicked accurate, Buff. You wouldn't happen to see me coming across some big cash, or possibly knowing the love of a woman. . .in a full body sense?" ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"Yikes! The quality of mercy is not Buffy!" ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

Cordelia: "Do you realize that the girls have to ask the guys, and 'pay' and everything? I mean, whose genius idea was that?"
Xander: "Obviously some hairy legged feminist." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"Oh yeah, baby. It's snake-a-licious in here." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"I'd say school's out for good." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"So what now? Not even a mega vat of raid is gonna do the trick here." ~~*I Only Have Eyes For You.

"Last month he's the freak with jicama breath who waxes his back. He wins a few meets and suddenly inherits the cool gene." ~~*Go Fish.

Cordy: "It's about time our school excelled at something."
Willow: "Mmmm, you're forgetting our high mortality rate."
Xander: "We're number one!!" ~~*Go Fish.

"That's wrong. A big fat spanking wrong. It's a slap in the face to everyone of us who studied hard and worked long hours to earn our 'D's." ~~*Go Fish.

"Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman too!" ~~*Go Fish.

Cordy: "I think I lost all will to cheerlead."
Xander: "Raise your hand if you feel her pain." ~~*Go Fish.

"Okie, dokie, Coachie." ~~*Go Fish.

"Wait here. But feel free to come in if you hear me scream." ~~*Go Fish.

"Turning into a creepy-crawly wasn't on my top ten list of things to do before I turned twenty." ~~*Go Fish.

"I had that guy under control until he resorted to fisticuffs." ~~*Becoming Part One.

"Oh yeah, finals! Why didn't you just let me die?" ~~*Becoming Part One.

"I will teach. . .zee language of Love." ~~*Becoming Part One.

"So this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Well, here's an interesting angle: Who cares?" ~~*Becoming Part One.

"You know, just for once I wish you would support me, and I realize right now that you were, and I'm embarrassed, so I'm gonna get back to the point." ~~*Becoming Part One.